This is not a time that I celebrate although this divorce was also a good thing. As much as any divorce can be. While I and my friends mourn the loss of a man who was such a wonderful addition to our lives for a time, I know that I have learned more. Things that will help me to make a better choice next time and things that may help me to help others as I write about my experiences and share them through this blog and the books I am working on. I know that I am not alone in my loss or my determination to move on.
I have written a poem which starts with my first divorce and ends with my healing from both divorces and the cancer I faced in between. Sometimes people react with sympathy because they do not understand that all of this has brought me to a very good place. Some people have trouble reading it because I have faced some difficult circumstances and it makes people uncomfortable to know about those times. My purpose is to encourage people that there is strength that can be found through difficulties.
Going through a divorce brought up so many emotions…
Insecurity, will anybody ever love me again?
Low Self Esteem, something must be wrong with me.
Betrayal, so much for promises.
Rejection, what did I do wrong?
Abandonment, how could he leave me to raise our children alone?
Heartache, it hurts so bad.
Failure, I tried so hard and just can’t do it anymore.
Anxiety, I literally shake in fear.
Fear, what will tomorrow bring, my plans will never be.
Crying, my eyes just won’t stop tearing.
Sadness, I want to be happy again.
Bitterness, how could he walk away?
Blaming, it is all his fault! (OK, maybe only mostly)
Lack of Control, I am a victim of my circumstances.
Is it any wonder that I got cancer?
Then, I found a cure!
Not just the surgery that removed most of it before it returned.
But, JOY and PEACE and LOVE!
And how do you find these feeling when you are riddled with all the others?
STOP and sit still and connect with the spirit inside of you.
Your connection to all of the Universe,
To omnipresent LOVE!
Then, reprogram those thoughts
Insecurity can become hope
Low Self Esteem can become a knowledge of your worthiness
Betrayed and Rejection can become Set Free
Abandonment can become Resourceful
Heartache can become strength
Failure can become Success!
Anxiety can become courage
Fear can become Confidence
Crying can be cleansing
Sadness can become Joy
Bitterness can become Acceptance
Blaming can become taking responsibility
Lack of Control can become Power
Cancer can become a motivator to move on in your power
to do what you are on this planet to do
in this lifetime!
You know what it is
You may not want to admit it
Fear may have a grip on you
But, now is the time
To be healed,
stay healed and MOVE Forward
into your purpose
Resources are abundant
Support is available everywhere
Just open your eyes!
Tear down your walls!
Seek and you will find what you need,
not just outside of you, but inside of you
Inside your heart
Inside your soul
Where it was all along.
Just waiting for an opportunity to shine.