Today is my oldest daughter’s birthday. As I think about what would be a good gift for her, I want to share my heart, my love. There is no gift that I can give her that may affect her life in any greater way.
I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. It was a hot July day, not as hot as today, but I was so ready to get this pregnancy over with. I was big and uncomfortable and I was trying all the old wives’ tales to get the job done. Finally, at midnight, I went into labor. I went into the hospital in the middle of the night. In the morning they broke my water to try to speed things up and at noon they gave me pitocin and she was born in time for dinner. I broke all the blood vessels in my face pushing for at least an hour. All I wanted to do was eat and sleep.
My first baby had arrived! I had no idea at that time that she would have four siblings. She was 6lb 14 oz and when I held her in my arm, her little bottom was in my hand and her head rested where my arm bent. It was amazing to have this tiny little being to take care of. It was such an all-consuming job, sometimes I would forget to take care of myself. She was such a good baby. She didn’t cry. She would sleep for four hours and nurse a little bit, but enough she grew very quickly.
And I remember when I was 23, the age she has reached today, three years before she was born. My father had his first heart attack that year. I thought that if he died no man would love me and shortly after that I was engaged to be married to a man I hardly knew. That marriage didn’t happen, but the next year I was married to my children’s father. I can tell you in hind sight, that although I may have thought I was confident, I did not even know the concept of loving myself first, so I can really love someone else, more importantly, looking for someone who loved himself, so he could truly love me.
I have learned after two divorces and cancer, that loving yourself is important for so many reasons. Knowing yourself and your purpose can help you to make heart driven decisions which could help your happiness. And trusting yourself and the divinity that is within you will help you to relax and live a healthier life. How I wish I knew then, what I know now and maybe your life can be different because I have shared.